Rhoneisms

Beatrix,

There are a lot of adults right now, especially those closest to you, telling you their stories about their path. How they did in high school, where they went to college (or didn’t), how they ended up doing what they do. What their major was and how it doesn’t even resemble what they actually do now (as it is for most college graduates).

I know this confuses, frustrates, and bores you to tears. I know both your Mom and (especially) I are the worst offenders of this.

I’m sorry. We can’t help ourselves.

You can mostly ignore all the details and tune out the stories. They won’t help you. That was our path. That was what worked for us. Where we are is a result of our choices (life is built by choices) to say yes or no to the opportunities placed before us. But those choices and opportunities were ours alone and unique to us. You will get your own.

But, don’t ignore the “why” behind we adults telling you this stuff. Some of it over and over again (because we’re old and repeat ourselves — likely a symptom of early onset dementia).

The “why” is this: There are many possible paths. Our path was our path paved with our opportunities and our choices. Your path is and always will be your path paved by your choices.

And, inside of all of these stories from all of these people are examples of how one small simple seemingly inconsequential choice or random chance encounter changed the trajectory of our entire lives.

When a friend asked me for a favor to help out a lady with her computer and I said yes and despite having a very bad case of the flu I showed up anyway and did the work and now, here you are on the edge of senior year the daughter of those two people brought together by a hard drive failure and a simple favor.

The point being that every “yes” matters and every “no” matters and that your path will be yours alone and your choices pave it and gosh you are already sick of reading this and “Dad, I get it already! Shut up!” but I only have about a year to tell you all of this and it does not seem like nearly enough time and your path is moving SO quickly now and seems out of control and I’m your parent damn-it I should be making sure you get all of the best things and go to the college you want and make sure your life is everything you want it to be but the world is changing and you are changing and it’s all out of control and happening so fast and…

I can’t. Your path is your path. Your choices guide you and only you.

You are too old for my shit or your Mom’s shit or anyone else’s shit. Time for us to shut up and let you do your own shit.

I had been working for four years as Front Desk Manager for a nationally franchised hotel chain when I saw the ad in the newspaper.

The headline was, Writer Needed.

I was a writer, for sure. I had been writing creatively for most of my life. My Mom sent me my first published work a few years back — it was on mimeograph paper from a school bulletin in 2nd grade.

That said, I was not a Writer. I had never really been a Writer. In other words, someone who does so professionally. For a job. For money.

My jobs until that point were delivering newspapers, bagging groceries, overnight stock work at a major chain, working in retail sales, working and managing video stores, and, of course, working front desk at a hotel. Hardly the qualifications for applying for a job as a Writer.

Did I let that stop me? No. Did I send in my resumé with a cover letter and, most importantly, a writing sample? Yes.

Did I get the job? Yes.

I got the job because no one ever said “No, you can’t do that.” The most important “no” I never heard was the voice in my head. I had decided I was a Writer. I had always wanted to be a Writer. Here was the universe sending me a sign — this was my chance — to become what I had long believed I was; a Writer.

And, that’s how I started my career as a Technical Consultant.

“What?”, you ask.

You see, the writing job was at a build-to order computer manufacturer, ZEOS International. They needed someone to join their small customer service letter writing team. This was in the early days of the home PC revolution. Email, as we know it now, wasn’t really a thing. If someone had something they wanted to express more seriously than a phone call, they wrote a letter. The team I was going to be on were the ones who wrote the replies.

A couple of years after I got the job, the Tech Support managers came to me. They were looking to build an automated tech support system and needed someone to write the scripts. They had heard that I was a bit of a geek in writer’s clothing, had my own BTO PC at home that I tinkered with, so would be a good fit for the project.

Had I ever worked in tech support or done troubleshooting of any kind? Did I consider myself a geek? No.

Did I take the project on? Yes.

By doing so, not only did I do the job at hand but, though my research and conversations with the tech support staff — The Knowers of Such Things — I became a Knower too.

After the project was completed and the Tech Support Manager asked if I wanted a job in that department instead of Customer Service and offered me a higher tier position at nearly double the hourly pay, I said “yes”.

After a couple of years of that position I intuited there was a real need in the market for someone who could just go to people’s homes to troubleshoot and fix things and that it would be easier, faster, and frankly worth the cost to the user to have such a service, I decided I wanted to be a Technical Consultant and should begin learning everything I needed to know to do that well.

Did I have any idea what that looked like? Did I know what skills I would need to hone? Were there any examples to follow at the time? No.

Did I start down that path anyway? Yes.

Tier 2 PC Tech Support at ZEOS to Tech Support for a printer manufacturer to Tech Support for a networking company to QA for a Software Company to being an Independent Technical Consultant.

I said Yes.

So, what is the point of all of this. The point (and the one I’m trying to impart to my Daughter) is that I’ve been able to do what I’ve done in my life by saying Yes to the opportunities that intrigued and presented themselves to me. I did not dwell on my own shortcomings or limitations. Most importantly, I did not tell myself “no”. My policy was “yes”. Sure, some of the opportunities were luck. But luck often happens to those always ready to accept it.

When your opportunities come, say yes. Make it your personal policy.