Rhoneisms

Bethany and I don’t need each other. The truth is, we were doing pretty well on our own before. When we met, she was in the process of getting a divorce. I had gone through a divorce several years earlier and had primary custody of my two sons. We both had houses. We both had lives. We were both relatively financially stable. We both were at tail ends of relationships. Neither of us were looking to get into a new one anytime soon.

The truth is that, even today, Bethany and I would be just fine on our own. But, we choose to be together. We make that choice because we know that even if we would be fine on our own we are at our best together.

Being together is a choice we make, daily. Every moment. Before every embrace. After every argument. In the smooth and the rough, we choose. We choose to work for it. We choose to fight for it. We choose to love.

We choose to be at our best. And that choice, means being together.

It’s the best choice I make every day.

Let’s say, for instance, you are a friend of Bethany’s. And, let’s just say, for example, you casually mention that you are looking to buy a new house. Like, as just part of an in-passing, what’s-going-on, sort of way.

What you don’t know is that you’ve just sent Bethany off on a house search for you. A few minutes here. A quick browse there. As she’s scrolling through people she follows or groups she’s in on Facebook, anytime she sees a house for sale she’s actively investigating if it’s the right house for you. We have more friends than we can count who have been helped by this. Either by leading them to a new home or leading to a place to land while a new home is being found.

Now, let’s say, for instance, you mention you are looking for a job. And, let’s just say, for example, you casually mention this to Bethany. Once again, without expectation. Just an aside.

What you don’t see is that Bethany’s head gears are now turning through a catalog of possibilities, openings, connections, and clients to see if there’s something that might be a good fit. Or even a good direction to turn or lead to follow. This happened as recently as a few days ago. A friend mentioned that she was looking for a change in career and it turned out that Bethany knew of an opening for that exact job.

Are you sick or going through a rough time? Bethany is thinking of how to bring you a meal or cheer you up. Are you having problems in your relationship? Bethany is trying to find a way in her (very little) free time how to take you out for a drink to vent. If you have any problem at all, Bethany is thinking of a solution.

Now, she doesn’t have all the answers. She is not a real estate agent. She’s not an employment counsellor. She’s not a therapist and, frankly, if you get a meal when you are sick I mostly likely cooked it. But, the point is that she does her damnedest to try to solve any problem that passes her way.

The thing is, she does this all on her own free time. She doesn’t have a lot of free time. By not a lot, I mean next to none. Yet, it doesn’t matter. She can’t help it. It’s who she is and one of the many reasons why I love her and the world, especially her world, is so lucky to have her.

This is a love letter. An open love letter. The beginning of what will be a series of open love letters this week to my wife, Bethany Gladhill. For no particular reason. The fact that it is coinciding with the same week containing Valentines Day is pure happenstance. A fortunate accident.

I’ve just been thinking lately about how I write a whole lot about my daughter. For good reason, she’s amazing. But, I haven’t written nearly as much about my wife, who is even way more amazing. More than most of the reason my daughter is amazing is because she’s so much like my wife. I still don’t believe I get to live a life in partnership with or service to either one of them.

That said, anyone who has spent time talking to me knows how frequently conversations with me turn into unabashed praise for everything Bethany Gladhill does. How hard she works. How much smarter she is than me. How much better read. How she far outpaces me in earnings. How passionate she is about the things she believes in. How hard she works for her clients and how committed she is to them. What a great mother she is and how much effort and thought she puts into giving her daughter every opportunity. What a wonderful partner she is in all that our lives entail.

And, in my defense, part of the trouble with writing about her is that she is so involved in so many things and so good at every single one of them it’s hard to know where to start. When discussing her work, do I talk about the few dozen non-profits she helps to manage and run, her historic preservation work some of which is pioneering on a national scale, her volunteer work with many organizations, or the many personal side projects that she invests heart and soul into? Do I talk about how much time and thought and effort she puts into doing favors for friends or connecting someone’s need with another’s offering? It’s hard because any one of those things is worth a post.

The truth is, I’m her biggest fan and champion. She’s my best friend and I’m humbled by her love. I hope my notes this week will settle any past failings on my part to let everyone know that.