Category: post

|nanbz|referrer|aytbd
“We can discover this meaning in life in three different ways: (1) by creating a work or doing a deed; (2) by experiencing something or encountering someone; and (3) by the attitude we take toward unavoidable suffering… Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances”. — Viktor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning

When we are young, we often have lofty ideas of what success looks like ten or twenty years down the road. It looks like doing work that we believe in and that matters. It looks like being financially comfortable. It looks like a nice house in a coveted area of town. It looks like the partner of our dreams and 2.5 kids. It looks like happiness and stability and respect and purpose. I know I certainly defined it this way back then.

Now I know that success is both all of these things and none of these things at once. Why? Because there are always two measures of success and one is dependent on the other. Let’s return to Dr. Frankl…

“Once, an elderly general practitioner consulted me because of his severe depression. He could not overcome the loss of his wife who had died two years before and whom he had loved above all else. Now how could I help him? What should I tell him? I refrained from telling him anything, but instead confronted him with a question, “What would have happened, Doctor, if you had died first, and your wife would have had to survive you?:” “Oh,” he said, “for her this would have been terrible; how she would have suffered!” Whereupon I replied, “You see, Doctor, such a suffering has been spared her, and it is you who have spared her this suffering; but now, you have to pay for it by surviving and mourning her.” He said no word but shook my hand and calmly left the office.

Success and meaning in life is defined internally by the attitude we bring to our experiences and struggles. But we will only be measured a success externally by the deeds, encounters, and value we create for others. Yet, we can’t meet that external measure until we have met the internal one. In order to make the lives of others better we need to make sure we are equipped to do so. In order to make an impact, you not only need a place to land, you need a stable and strong platform to fire from.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, then that is a measure of success I can believe in. Please let me know by contributing here.

A few months ago, my wife and I decided to subscribe to the Sunday newspaper. Just the Sunday edition. They have yet to deliver that single paper to us on time. Not even once since we signed up.

Every Sunday we go to the door. Every Sunday it is not there. Every Sunday we call and complain. Every Sunday it is delivered about an hour after we call. Every Sunday we receive a follow up call to make sure we received it. Every Sunday we complain to that person. Every Sunday they have an excuse. Every Sunday we publicly shame them on as many social networks as we can. Every Sunday.

Every Sunday one of those people has the power to make it better. Every Sunday all it would take is one person who seizes the opportunity to care. And, if that one person took the time to find out why it is that every Sunday we do not get our paper, they might just find a solution that solves our problem and makes our lives that much better.

They might also find that there is a problem in the system that not only solves our problem but solves every problem of every delivery of every paper everywhere. They could discover a solution that revolutionizes the delivery of everything. They could be the one that makes sure that every airline never loses a bag or every package arrives at every doorstep on time and guaranteed. They could be the one that solves a problem that has stumped the world for the past 100 years. That companies from Delta Airlines to the US Postal Service have yet to fully solve. This could make them unbelievably rich and lauded as the person who changed entire industries for the better.

Yet, they will never know until that one person decides to make it better for just one other person this Sunday.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

Always. No matter the task, the job, the career. No matter how simple or complex. Always look for a way to make it better. Make it better for yourself. Make it better for others. In fact, make it better for the sake of better. Even if you don’t like it (or, heck, even hate it) you should always be looking for a way to improve it.

Because learning how to improve things is transferable. It scales. It is a skill. It can be learned. And when you can learn how to make even the mundane or uninteresting or loathsome better you can do that with the good and the great and the perfect. Yes, even the perfect can be made better (once you divorce yourself of the idea that perfect exists).

In fact, I would argue that every invention, every innovation, and every revolution, can be traced to this simple goal. Someone, somewhere, just wanted to make it better and had the gumption, skill, and opportunity to do so.

Steve Jobs, for instance, made computers better. Then, he made music buying better. Then he made music players better. Then he made phones better. Then he made computers better all over again. Of course, he did not do this alone. He created an entire company who’s sole collective commitment is, in my eyes at least, to methodically and relentlessly make things better.

Think of someone you admire. Perhaps someone you know or even someone famous. Think of what it is you admire most about them and I’d be willing to bet that it fits some version of, “They make X better”. They make your life better or your television better or your food better. You get the idea.

It’s not enough to change the world. Change it for the better. Put a dent in the universe once you can see clearly that the dent will make it better. And, when you leave, as we all will inevitably do, leave it better.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

This is another that was originally published in the Read & Trust magazine last summer. If you enjoy it please consider a subscription. Enjoy!

As I write this, I’m sitting in a book store. It is my favorite bookstore. It has recently moved to this new location. The old location was in my neighborhood, on a quiet corner, in the basement of an old building, with a coffee shop above. The new location is at a busy major intersection a few miles away. The old location was small and intimate if not a bit cramped. The new location is in a space three times the size of the old and far more room to move. Despite these differences, there is one change between the two spaces that stands out the most to me — the music.

Not that there is recorded music being played in either location. There is not. A bookstore, and all spaces for that matter, have an inherent music all their own. For example, here is the music I hear right now…

• The hushed voices of a man and a woman having a conversation about their shelf-searching discoveries. In good bookstores, as in libraries, people tend to whisper. Her’s is a singsong of a classic Northern Minnesota tone. Scandinavian influenced with an upward lilt at the end. The spaces between her sentences are punctuated with the man’s lower pitched "Yep" and "Uh-huh". Like an orchestral strike at the end of each measure.

• The typing on the computer keyboards at the counter. Those of cashiers searching for books, or entering them into the system, or chatting with friends on Facebook, or… I have no idea what all the typing is about but it has a rhythm to it. A percussion I know I sensed less in the old location due to the trampling of caffeine drenched feet overhead which had their own much louder beat. These are their tap dance to the other’s kick drum.

• I still hear footsteps but these are slower ones. Some are heel-to-toe, others more a shuffle, coming from patrons as they slowly browse along the shelves.

• I hear the shuffle of the turning of pages. And, if I listen closely, the blowing of the HVAC system.

• On the busy street outside, I hear cars and trucks as they wiz by. Likely going faster than the posted limit. Then, the occasional dump truck or bulldozer rumbles past. Folks here say Minnesota has but two seasons — Winter and "Road Construction". This music is a good indication of which one we are currently in the midst of.

There is plenty of music here. All around me. It is different than it was before in the old location. Yet, in some ways, much the same as any bookstore anywhere. Were one who had bothered to hear it before be blindfolded, put into anyplace with books, and asked to guess where they were, this is the music they would use to deduce the correct answer.

This is all to say that music is constant and all around us. All the time. We but need to pay attention to it. We hear it but we don’t often listen. And, if we listen to these sounds close enough, they have tonality and rhythm and measure as true as anything else we might call music. We need it to orient us. To define our place and time. In a way, even those places we might think of as silent are not so at all.

Minnesota is home to a special place. It is, literally, the quietest place on earth — Orfield Labs. It is a sound lab specially designed to be completely devoid of noise. It manages to block out 99% of it. It is commonly used for product testing. So that manufacturers can test to see how loud (the music of) their washing machines, pacemakers, etc. are. But, the longest any human has been able to spend inside is 45 minutes. Most can’t last even a fraction as long. Any longer and they begin to go insane. They begin to hallucinate, are disoriented, or are driven mad by hearing the sound of their heartbeat and the blood moving through their veins. Turns out, we need the music that exists all around us just to keep from hearing that which is inside of us.

French composer Claude Debussy said, "Music is the space between the notes.". Perhaps he was speaking of more than the pauses, stops, and breaks that provide the drama in any composition. Perhaps, instead, he was speaking of the music we hear when the other music stops. Maybe, he was speaking of something much deeper and more broad. Perhaps, he was speaking of the sounds that represent and ground us to life itself. Not to mention, those that keep us sane.

My daughter, Beatrix, attends a Montessori preschool. For those that don’t know, Montessori is an educational model and plan developed by Dr. Maria Montessori. It has a high focus on independent, self-directed, learning and fostering a child’s natural curiosity and hunger for self-development and growth. The particular Montessori school that Beatrix attends takes a very canonical approach to this model and I’ve watched her really flourish and thrive in that environment.

One of the things I love about the Montessori model is the idea and definition of the word “work”. In a Montessori environment, any purposeful activity is described as work. For instance, cutting up bananas to have as a snack is referred to as “banana work” or learning math skills by counting beads is referred to as “bead work”.

The reason I love this is that it takes the often negative ideas and connotations we normally associate with the word work and brings it back to what the word actually means:

work /wərk/ — Noun: Activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result. Verb: Be engaged in physical or mental activity in order to achieve a purpose or result, esp. in one’s job; do work.

So, by this definition, everything we do that has purpose is work. Perhaps, then, we could adopt the phrasing used by the Montessori method…

Throwing a frisbee with the kids? Frisbee work.

Taking a walk to the beach to see the sunset? Sunset work.

Hugging a friend to let them know you care? Hugging work.

Doesn’t that make work sound so much better? I think it does.

So, when I talk about “work”, as I likely will be doing a lot more of here in the coming weeks, please understand that I’m not necessarily talking about a job or career or some task or drudgery. When that is my meaning I will try to use one of those more specific terms.

Instead, my definition of work is a positive one defined by purpose, meaning, value, and results. The way, thanks to Montessori, my daughter understands it.

Here are some things you should make some time for this weekend…

• An Email on How to Be Free | Lose Your Chains — This great piece serves as a sort of adjunct to A Passion For The Work. This is an email that the author wrote to his two young sons about the nature of work in our culture. One that urges them to opt-out of it and find their own path. It is well worth your time and better than anything I will be writing for you today.

• a show :: find the others — If you are one of the others, and the others know who they are, this is a call to action to find your kind. I’m an other, I’m glad to know many like me, including the other I’m married to.

• The Royal Quiet De Luxe Typewriter — Shawn Blanc — A wonderful ode to an old typewriter. I love the idea that it keeps one honest.

• Dave Grohl’s SXSW 2013 Keynote Speech : NPR — A heartfelt recount of his life in music from childhood to Nirvana to Foo Fighters. But it is also about finding your voice and making it heard.

Enjoy these and have a great weekend.

Your free will donation of any amount helps to support a full-time independent writer. Thanks for reading!

My wife and I took our honeymoon in Spain. It was a two week trip that took us from Barcelona, Seville, Ronda, Grenada, and Madrid, spending a few days in each city. Spain is a fantastic country. Full of diverse cities and rich history. Full of interesting local traditions and unique cuisine. Architecture that ranges from the modern to the ancient. Like most countries, each region, city, or town has their own unique culture. But there was one tradition I noticed every where we went that seemed unique to Spain on the whole.

Usually starting around three or four o’clock in the afternoon, and lasting through the early evening, the markets, squares, main bouleds and other gathering places would fill with people. There were families, couples, kids — very young to very old — all out walking. This tradition is called El Paseo or “The Stroll”. It is a time for families to gather, friends to meet, neighbors to run into other neighbors. People shop, they gossip, they discuss their lives, or they simply enjoy the company of others. For an outsider, and someone who can appreciate such things, it is wondrous to behold. People out, every single day, just taking a walk together to enjoy, participate, and experience being a part of their community. And, when one travels from city to city and then realizes that, in all likelihood, an entire country is likely doing this at the same time, well… It bogles the mind! What a lovely idea.

Though I have never been myself, I have several friends that are from Germany. As one who is interested in the culture and traditions of other countries, I have had many a conversation with them about theirs. One of these is about their eating habits. In America, we typically have a light breakfast (if any at all), a medium sized lunch, then a big dinner. While they state it is a bit less common these days, traditionally, Germans eat a decent breakfast, a large lunch (which is the main meal of the day), then a lighter dinner (Abendbrot, literally “evening bread”) usually consisting of cold cuts, cheeses, and breads. In other words, their lunch and dinners are almost exact opposites from ours. It does make a certain amount of sense, if one thinks about it, to eat meals in this order. It ensures that the biggest meal is had during a part of the day you are likely to be working your hardest and being the most active — when you need it most.

Speaking of eating habits in European countries, another interesting favorite of mine is one that is pre-dominatly French — eating the salad following the main course. Generally, in America, it is served before the main course or, far less often, along side of it. But why? Salad not only offers something crisp, refreshing, and light at the end of a meal but, furthermore, the ruffage aids in digestion. This makes more sense to me.

I relate all of these not simply to inform you of cultural differences in other countries. I offer them up as a few examples of cultural traditions, outside of my own, that I have in-whole or in-part adopted. Most because, once exposed to them, they made more sense over my own and help me to appreciate my place as part of the broader human experience. So, when my wife, daughter, and I are taking our evening paseo, I feel a deep connection to our time in Spain and the whole of its people who likely had done the same that day. When I eat a larger lunch and light dinner, I feel a connection and kinship with my friends from Germany and its citizens as a whole. And, when we eat our salad following the meal, I feel oh-so French.

But it is not just the connection to these travels and culture that is a benefit. There is also the feeling (non-scientific as it may be), that the ious traditions and cultures I have adopted make more sense than my own. That I was fortunate enough to be exposed to such ideas and that I have smartly adopted the best of them. This is part of my reason for travel to these places in the first place and I feel a certain sense of duty to do so. I travel not just to see the sights or take a vacation in a place far different from mine — such gains are short term and often fleeting. Instead, it is also to borrow and learn ways of doing things that I otherwise would not have been exposed to. Things that we have lost somewhere in our American melting pot along the way (or that never made the journey in the first place). I bring them back home in my small attempts to spread them here. I weave these ideas into the fabric of my own culture in the hopes of making the place that I call home a little better.

This originally appeared in the Read & Trust Magazine in the Thoughts On Travel issue. If you enjoyed it please consider subscribing or a single issue purchase

Subtitle: Lose The Freelancing Illusion

I get at least one email in my inbox a week from someone who wants my advice on freelancing. They read my writing or listen to my podcast or follow me on a social network and think that I have a pretty sweet, fulfilling, life that I’m generally satisfied with. That I love working the freelance life as both a consultant and writer. That my wife, who is also a freelance consultant and my business partner, does too. And, this is true. We have a pretty great life. But I think the truth of why we love it is far different than the reason others think we do.

The fact is, both my wife and I work our asses off. Heck, here it is past midnight and I’m still working. My wife is in a chair a few feet away working. I’m rarely not working. Neither is she. Even the “fun stuff” is often work related for at least one of us. As are our “vacations”. But, we do it because we love it. We love the work. It fulfills us in ways that nothing else can. And this is what I mean when I say it is not for everyone and that satisfaction others sense is not coming from a life of leisure it is coming from a love of the work.

We are both passionate people. We are passionate about every aspect of our life. We did not set out to freelance so that we could work less. We freelance so that we can work more and own every piece of it. The fact is that there really is no line for us between family, work, and play. It is all just life. A life that we build and work for and love. We work hard at every aspect of it because we love the work.

Not everyone is cut out for it. It takes not only a passion for the work but plenty of sacrifice. It means there will be no paid vacations or retirement fund matching or group healthcare plan. It means years of saving and planning and struggling and scrapping. But you will know, in those tough years, if it is for you. Because those struggles will not deter you — they will fuel you. Because, that is all part of the work too.

The farmer lays her head down at night and can’t wait to go out at daybreak and get deep into the muck and dung of her work, because she loves the land. It is what makes her a farmer.

When you love the work, the work shows you who you really are.

I’m a full-time independent writer who works hard and loves it. If my work has improved your day, please consider a free will donation of any amount.

I’ve tweeted it, I’ve spoken about it on my podcast, and others have given their own riffs on the idea, but I have never written it down here on my own site.

I’m talking about my favorite thing to eat for lunch. I call it French Lunch because it is always what I imagine is in the lunchbox of every hard laborer in France (I have no idea if that is, in fact, the case).

It’s pretty easy actually. Here’s what I do:

• Grab a good fresh crusty baguette. Good bread is the foundation so spare no expense here and aim for fresh as possible. Made today? Good. Made less than an hour ago? Better!

• Get a creamy-style cheese like Brie or Délice de Bourgogne (or, occasionally, I’ll go for something a bit more firm and nutty like Manchego depending on my mood).

• Then a bunch of good red grapes. Sometimes I do a ripe pear if grapes are not in season or otherwise hard to find. But fruity and juicy and sweet is the goal here.

It’s very simple, requires nothing but a knife (and even that is optional if you want to go all “beast mode” about it), and zero prep. Just take it out, plate it and eat it.

I’m a full-time independent writer who works hard to bring you quality reading, ideas, and the occasional recipe here daily. If you enjoy what you read here, please consider a free will donation of any amount.

Sometime in the past, I put a wish out into the world. I can’t even remember when. It was out there, somewhere on the Internet, where a friendly soul might happen by it and respond. The wish was that this site be mobile friendly. I did not have the knowledge on how to go about it and trying to learn by researching online only led me to articles that made my head hurt. So, I put it on my list of future needs and there it stayed.

A couple of days ago, my friend Chris Bowler mentioned he had seen my wish some time ago and had, simply out of good will and wanting to do a kind deed, done some mock ups of some possible mobile friendly modifications that could be made to the site. They were all stunning, yet still, I did not have the skill to make heads or tails of how to use them. So, he offered to do it for me. No strings attached.

To say I’m grateful would be an understatement for sure. Gobsmacked my be more appropriate. Such kindness is so increasingly rare in this world. Yet, if you are reading this in a mobile browser you can see it in evidence.

So, thank you Chris Bowler for going above and beyond an act of kindness with your responsiveness. It means so much to me.

And, if you do read this on a mobile browser, Chris has an excellent site that is worth supporting and you should thank him for it by becoming a member.