Sweet teeth turn into butter with the soft crunch of the chocolate croissant ($2.95), and macaroons ($2.25 each) melt the taste buds of sweet seekers without the inclusion of refined sweeteners—whose costly education did not increase their manners.

This is actual copy in the Groupon email I received today. Reads more like the back of a Chinese bootleg DVD. Gosh, Groupon. With all of that cash, hire a copywriter. A native English speaker would be nice too.