Rhoneisms

I love my iPhone and all of the apps that help me communicate, manage my day, or entertain me during my free time. But I love my pens and paper even more, and if I have the choice, they are going to win almost every time.

via There's An App For That … And I Don't Want It — The Pen Addict.

I, too, choose paper for many, many, things for and for many of the same reasons. I love writing with pen and paper and, for certain things like my task lists, paper works far better for me. I have tried to keep a task list digitally but pen and paper are always my sensible default.

You see, tasks on paper keep me accountable. It is physical. It’s in my face. Left on my desk I can’t ignore it. Every time it catches my glance it taunts me. Waiting. Wanting.

Digital lists are where tasks are easily forgotten for me. They become yet another junk drawer to hide the mess of an all too complicated and busy life. This is not to say they don’t have their time and place. I occasionally will switch to one on the rare occasions the paper is not enough to manage it all.

That said, I always switch back to pen and paper for such things as soon as I can. They keep me honest.

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I used to be afraid of posting here daily.

I was afraid what I have to say would not be good enough.
I was afraid that people would make fun of me.
I was afraid no one was reading anyway.
I was afraid I’d never be able to keep up.
I was afraid it was too hard.
I was afraid I would not find the time.
I was afraid I did not have enough ideas in me to write about.
I was afraid that I would miss a day (or two, or three) and let people — especially myself — down.
I was afraid no one would care — myself included — if I did.
I was afraid I would fail.

Interestingly, I still have all the same fears. The difference now is that I face each one and do it despite them.

Your free will donation of any amount helps to support a full-time independent writer in his daily battle against the fear. Thanks for reading!

What is truth anyway?

We all know it when we see it. At least we think we do. But what we often call truth is merely consensus. We should always be wary of confusing the two.

For instance, you can’t have an argument with someone who fundamentally believes that the sky is red. The reason they believe this is because the color that everyone else calls blue, they call red. No matter how much you argue with them, or show them examples, or find other people to back the fact that the sky is blue and not red, as long as they believe blue is red you can’t have a rational conversation about the color of the sky.

But here, you are not arguing about the truth (though you both likely believe you are). You are arguing about consensus. What is at stake? Who does it harm, really, if that lone outsider calls the sky red, or orange, or purple?

The truth is really that thing that you can’t deny. That thing for which, all names aside, there can be no disagreement. Let’s all work better at coming to agreement and consensus (or agree to disagree) around that which is, in fact, perception so that we can have more truthful discussion.

Similar |nazba|referrer|hsnyz
can be found easily. Special can’t. Same can be overlooked. Special can’t be ignored. Comparable is open to argument. Special can’t be denied. Special cant be easily copied or purchased or sold. It is rare by its very nature.

Find what it is about your work that makes what you offer special. Protect and invest heavily in that. Then, make sure it is the thing you lead with, what you demonstrate, and what you constantly work on strengthening, solidifying, and improving.

Because, once you know what makes you so special and are confident in your ability to execute it, you will never have to tell it to others. What makes you special will speak for itself.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

The answer to:

…is this all there is?

…is this all I am?

…is this all I can be?

Is always, “No“

As we ventured past the ticketing gate of Disney World, on our final night there, Beatrix turned around in her stroller and asked, “Can I see Mickey? I haven’t seen him yet.”

It was true. During our five day stay, we had seen every available Princess. We had seen a lot of the other characters. We had even seen Mickey’s girlfriend Minnie. But we had not yet seen the main mouse himself.

Our original mission for the evening was to see the illuminated parade and the multimedia fireworks extravaganza (trust me, this is the only way to describe it). It was clear that prime viewing spots were filling up fast. But, as doting parents to a lovely five year old, our primary mission was now changed by this simple request. We rushed to find a spot along the parade route and, with Bethany holding our place, Beatrix and I went off to the Mickey meet and greet.

The line was remarkably short. Only about a five minute wait. Other such previous characters had wait times far longer. Everyone must have been focused on the pending parade. We were whisked right in to the front of the line.

Her turn to meet Mickey came. She had an autograph book in which she had been collecting signatures of all of the characters she met. She handed it and a red Sharpie pen to him at which point he saw the cover. It was a picture of his girlfriend, Minnie Mouse. He acted out a blush and pointed to the wall where a portrait of Minnie was hanging. The cast member helping out in Mickey’s room explained to us that he had not seen her all day and missed her very much. He kissed the book cover, signed it, handed it back to Beatrix, then he posed with her while I busily snapped a few shots with my camera as was the now standard practice. Then, I gestured that I had gotten my shot at which point the posing was done. I put my camera away.

After that, something unexpected happened. Mickey got down on one knee and pointed at a button on Beatrix’s dress that indicated it was her birthday. He took her hand, kissed it, then grabbed the other and pulled her near, leaning his face in close to hers. She kissed him sweetly on the nose. They gave each other a nice long hug and he waved her off goodbye.

As we left, I was particularly touched by the sweetness of the moment. A thought passed through my mind. The thought that I wished I had caught that last bit with the camera.

But then, on second thought, I was glad that I hadn’t. I’m glad that I was fully present to witness the joy of the moment that made my little girl’s birthday so special. To see it and remember it through my eyes and not a camera’s lens. A photograph may be able to capture a moment. But, a photograph can never capture a memory.

It’s been fun. We’ve had a great time. Beatrix got to do all that she wanted to do here. Including a very sweet kiss from Mickey and the most amazing multimedia fireworks show I’ve ever witnessed.

Now it’s time to go. Lots of packing and prep. Time to get back to the real world. And if there is anyplace on earth that is not real it is Disney. Yet, that is part of its appeal. It is a place to truly escape. And, frankly, we needed this escape very, very, badly.

See you tomorrow.

My little girl turns five years old today.

Happy Birthday, B!

You are the best little girl in the whole world. It’s true. You know how I know? Your mommy told me and she’s always right.

The first approximation of others is ourselves. In other words, the expectations we have for others in any given situation or environment, in lieu of those being expressly stated or agreed upon, are largely guided by those we set for ourselves. An example being that, if we are always punctual to appointments then we expect others to do the same and get quite perturbed when they are not. The less punctuality is important to you personally, in general the less bothered you will be when others also fail to meet this goal. This is something I have come to term the First Expectation and it is something I encounter and dwell on quite a bit for i believe that it is, in fact, one of the building blocks of any creed or belief system.

I feel it helpful to remember that how we treat ourselves when we fall short is also important. The more forgiveness and empathy we have with ourselves when we fail to meet our own first expectations should inform the measure we use to treat others. In the Christian tradition, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” is an idea embodied by the first expectation — and the empathy, forgiveness, and compassion contained therein ¹. The idea being, in part, that if one lives and does these things, if they set this at the core of their expectations for themselves, it will also set an expectation for others to do the same.

Such things are far too often out of sync. Either we are far too hard on ourselves and have more liberal expectations of others or the opposite is true. Let us, instead, sit in empathy on all sides, open paths to communication that makes our first expectations clear, and mindfully listen and understand those of others.