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Warming Up

My fingers are really cold today. I can’t seem to get them to feel warm. I’ve blown on them, clasping one hand over the other and cupping my mouth as I exhaled, hoping the warmth of my breath would help. I’ve tried sitting on them, hoping to find warmth for them somewhere between my thighs and the couch. I’ve tried rubbing my hands together, hoping the friction would produce enough heat. Nothing has worked so far.

This is a problem. Writers largely work with their hands. They need to be warmed up.

Before this, I had sat down to work on my morning pages. They too, are an act of warming up the writer. Of getting the fingers moving and the creative juices flowing so that an artist is warmed up to the craft that lay before them.

How does one warm up when they can seem to get warm? My fingers are too cold to write.

The morning pages are essential for me. Pioneered by Julia Cameron in her book, The Artist Way, the idea is to fill up three standard pages, hand written, long hand, with whatever thoughts come to mind. There is not supposed to be narrative or meaning or even the idea of being any good. In fact, it should barely be considered writing, really. Just stream of conscious thought poured out on the page done first thing in the morning. Morning pages are supposed to clear the mind and open the pathways to the deeper reaches of one’s mind.

And now my hands are grasping a hot cup of coffee. Still hoping for warmth.

Most often, I warm up to write one thing by writing another thing. An email is an excellent way to warm up to writing a blog post. A journal entry is a pretty good way to warm up to write a chapter of a book. A task list. A recipe. Transcribing the side of a cereal box. If you are feeling stuck, writing anything is always a good way to get unstuck.

And, now, I have written about warming up. My fingers are a bit warmer. As if thinking about it and writing about it were the only source of heat in the world. In this moment, that seems as true as any truth.

I can write my pages now.

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Hiding In Plain Sight

We like to believe that the Internet is this open public place. This place where everyone shares everything (even to a fault). Where if someone is struggling, they will surely share it on their blog or tweet it or post it on some wall. That you will have some chance to reach out and offer real help.

In fact, quite the opposite is more often true. The Internet is the perfect place to hide in plain sight. One can appear to be a part of this world while, in spirit, they left it a long time ago. We can put a good face on our otherwise anonymous lives and never mention the darkness that envelops and consumes us. We can focus public attention on our work and not our person. We can disappear for a whole year and then come back as if nothing has happened and most people won’t even notice. (“Oh, yeah. I guess you haven’t posted in a while.”)

It is far more difficult to hide such things in person. There are too many other cues that give our disposition away. Body language or a look in the eye or even a lack of skip in an otherwise skip filled step. Those who watch closely enough, especially those who we are closest too, can often tell the signs of the suffering. Such intimacy, for this reason, is always measured in distance.

I think, for many of us, we notice these things because we have seen them in our selves. As one who, far too often, has such darkness looming, thankfully untouchably, before him, I see it well in others. I’ve seen it’s face just behind my eyes when I have looked the mirror. Therefore, if I can be face-to-face with someone, I can almost always spot it.

Can’t do that, yet, on the Internet.

I only wish I knew the words and tools I use to keep it at bay well enough to impart to others no matter where and when it is made known to me. Such skills are often unique, individual, and mostly non-transferable. I barely manage myself most days. Most often all I can do for others is offer to let them know they do not suffer alone.

If that is you, hiding such suffering in plain sight, know that you are not alone and are welcome to reach out to me, in person or through the Internet, anytime.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by buying me a coffee.

Don’t Wait For The Eulogy

Why wait for the eulogy to state what someone means to you? If someone’s life and accomplishments have great meaning the day after they are gone, my bet is they had even greater meaning the day before. Tell them today — right now — while you have the chance. Because this moment may be your only chance. Because none are guaranteed.

You never know how it might have an impact on someone who needs to hear it. We so often do not get the full story. Even from those we are close to. A kind word of gratitude for who someone is and what they mean to you could make someone’s day or even save their life.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

Writers Reading Writers

Not quite sure what it is that gives writers such rapt fascination with the lives and habits of other writers. That said, I’m certainly one with this affliction. And, it is not just writers I admire or who’s work I know. It is any writer. I love to read about their process, their workflow, their motivations, or their thoughts on the work of writing itself. In fact, I have long joked that the only things writers love more than writing about writing is reading other writers write about writing.

Writing is such a selfish, self-involved, and lonely business — fraught with fear and self-hatred. Perhaps, reading about others who share our struggle is the only place we feel we can truly find empathy. That in every other writer, and only in another writer, we see someone else who gets it. Who understands. We are not so alone after all.

With this premise laid, here are some recent writings about and by writers that I have enjoyed. Hopefully you will find these valuable too.

On Writing in the Morning : The New Yorker

On a good day, I’m caught up by something larger than myself, held in the light by some celestial movement. For a brief charged time I may be irradiated, able to cast a shadow version of something I only imagine. The shadow will never be the bright true self that I know exists, but it will be as precise as I can make it, as real, as sharp, as beautiful. I will cast this shadow into the air, where it may never be seen, or where it may be seen at a great distance, and only by one person, someone I will never know. The point is to cast the shadow out into the air.

George Saunders Has Written the Best Book You’ll Read This Year – NYTimes.com

You could call this desire — to really have that awareness, to be as open as possible, all the time, to beauty and cruelty and stupid human fallibility and unexpected grace — the George Saunders Experiment. It’s the trope of all tropes to say that a writer is “the writer for our time.” Still, if we were to define “our time” as a historical moment in which the country we live in is dropping bombs on people about whose lives we have the most abstracted and unnuanced ideas, and who have the most distorted notions of ours; or a time in which some of us are desperate simply for a job that would lead to the ability to purchase a few things that would make our kids happy and result in an uptick in self- and family esteem; or even just a time when a portion of the population occasionally feels scared out of its wits for reasons that are hard to name, or overcome with emotion when we see our children asleep, or happy when we risk revealing ourselves to someone and they respond with kindness — if we define “our time” in these ways, then George Saunders is the writer for our time.

Seth’s Blog: “Here, I made this,” is difficult and frightening

Your art is vitally important, and what makes it art is that it is personal, important and fraught with the whiff of failure. This is precisely why it’s scarce and thus valuable—it’s difficult to stand up and own it and say, “here, I made this.” For me, anyway, writing a book is far easier than handing it to someone I care about and asking them to read it.

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Best Laid Plans

When I woke up this morning (as I write this), our furnace had stopped working again. It's been doing this intermittently recently, despite the fact that it is only a couple of years old. We will go to bed at night with it working just fine. But sometimes, at some point throughout the night, when our Nest Thermostat adjusts the temp down, it never comes back on. When this happens, I spend a couple of hours trying to troubleshoot the issue. I reset the Nest, toggle on/off the master power to the furnace, toggle on/off the little switch for the blower motor inside of it, and all combinations of steps thereof. Eventually, I give up. I call a furnace repairman and schedule a service call. I drag a space heater down from our unheated third floor office. Then, in all the cases this has happened before, just a few minutes later the furnace magically starts working again. Almost as if the threat of repair or replacement has scared it into compliance.

Just a few minutes ago I scheduled the service call again. So far, it is still not working.

Then, just as I was doing the furnace restart shuffle, I got a call from Beatrix's school. She ended up vomiting shortly after arriving. I, of course, went and got her right away and brought her back home. She has been nauseous and continuing vomit off and on since. She has a bit of a fever and it seems to be rising. Meaning a trip to the doctor is likely if this continues.

In the mean time, the furnace guy has shown up. Now I'm double tasking between him and her. Oh, also, I have appointments I'm trying to reschedule due to these sudden unexpected events. I'm trying to get some critical work done in every moment I can steal. Basically, any plan I had is now out the window. And, due to the rescheduling and shifting, it is likely to throw things off for days to come.

It is reasons like this that when one makes a commitment to posting to a website, or doing anything for that matter, daily, it is important to do all that one can to be prepared for such times. It is reasons like this that having posts written a few days in advance matters. Because, hey, guess what? I likely wont have time to get anything else done today. Possibly tomorrow either.

Yet, that is OK because, thanks to planning, I don't have to break the chain or choose between some life emergency or my blog (the blog will always lose). The best way to pay attention to what really matters when they matter most is to have a plan for how you are going to manage and reduce the attention given to the things that matter less.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

Your Dream Life

Let’s be honest. You are not really looking for your dream job. Well, that may be what you say you are looking for or even think you are looking for. But, in reality you think said dream job is an automatic path to your dream life.

Well, I hate to break this to you, but since we are being so truthful here… Nope. Not only do the two not come together in a big value pack of happiness, but you might find that they are often at odds with each other. That, in order to build one you have to sacrifice and compromise the other — at least for a while and possibly forever. This is not to say that one can’t lead to the other or be built at the same time. This is to say that such cases are rare and you should be prepared to make the tough choices when they come.

For example, you may decide to take that very comfortable job driving someone else’s dump truck. You enjoy it quite a bit and it is something you always wanted to do. You are paid well enough to do it too. You get paid vacations and time off, good benefits, nice retirement savings plan, etc. It may be really flexible time wise too. It may allow you to send your kids to a good school and buy the spouse nice things. You can afford a nice house. Basically, it is what you dream of when you dream your dream life. And this is OK. You have chosen to drive someone else’s dump truck because that allows you to live your dream life. Fair trade, right?

That is still someone else’s dump truck.

But, in order to build your dream and buy your own dump truck you will have to give up some of that dream life — at least for a while. You may have to take a steep pay cut, give up the idea of vacation or time off, pay for your own health insurance, maybe even downsize the house.

But, hey, you are at least driving your own dump truck.

My point is that these are all choices. Most of the time they are hard choices. Sometimes one has to choose between their dream job and their dream life. But they are choices all the same.

But, sometimes, with the hard work, the compromise, the sacrifice, and right choices, and a wee bit of luck, one can arrive at both. But that’s all on you too.

I’m a full-time independent writer who works hard to bring you quality reading and ideas here daily. If you enjoy what you see here, please consider a free will donation of any amount.

Your Dream Job

Your dream job will only exist if you get out there and work your nethers off and build it. No one can give it to you. You can’t be hired for it. There is no interview process and it won’t magically appear one day. A dream that is your dream can’t be taken or provided. If you want your dream job the only one that can will that into existence is you.

You may be saying, “Hey, my dream job is to drive a dump truck. Surely, I can learn how to drive one and get hired doing that for the rest of my life.”

Sure. This is true. But if you are being hired to drive someone else’s truck dumping someone else’s loads for someone else’s dump truck business then it is not your dream job. You just happen to be doing the job of your dreams for someone else. Your dream simply fit well into someone else’s bigger dream.

That’s OK. There is nothing wrong with that if it makes you happy and pays you well for the rest of your life. But, that is not your dream job. That is a dream job that you were lucky enough to be hired for but a dream that can be snatched away from you at any time. And any dream that can be taken did not belong to you — was not yours — in the first place.

Want to turn it into your dream job? Work hard, save money, buy your own dump truck, build out a model for sustaining customers that need loads hauled and dumped, and charge a price that will allow you to live comfortably and save a little extra for the rainy days, and figure out how to do that for the rest of your life or until it no longer fulfills you and makes you happy. That is the only way to make a dream your dream.

Only you can dream your dream. Only you can make your dream reality. Only then can it never be taken away. It can fail. It can falter. It can remain fantasy for ever. Or it could be the most successful in human history. But that’s all on you.

I’m a writer. Writing is how I make this world better, friendlier, stronger place. This is my dream job. If these words improved your day, please let me know by contributing here.

My Winter Running Gear Guide

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Runners in warmer climates must think we are crazy here in the colder states. When the temperature drops well below freezing, many of us still go out and run. I’m no exception. In fact, I took up running in the middle of winter a couple of years ago.

I didn’t even really have the “right” gear. when I started. My first day out it was about 20 degrees (Fahrenheit) and had snowed a couple of days before. I threw on some cheap track pants I had gotten on clearance at Target a few years prior (that previously I had worn as around-the-house pants), a long sleeve t-shirt, a REI fleece jacket, and a knit beanie. I had just gotten some Newton Momentum running shoes on the recommendation of a friend and was eager to try them out. I think I ran for about a mile. I was drenched from head to toe in sweat and had slipped several times on patches of ice and slick snow. I was a mess, yet in no way deterred.

Eventually, I got wise and got better winter gear slowly along the way. In fact, I’m still learning a bit about the right clothing and layers based on temperature, speed, and distance. That said, having the right stuff really does make all the difference in the world when it comes to staying warm and feeling dry.

I’m pretty picky about my features and brands when it comes to this stuff as I now have had the experience to know what works for me. Also, a good portion of what I have is hand-me-downs from a friend who grew too skinny for them. He is equally picky, if not more.

If the temperature is below 25 degrees but above 5 degrees when I go out, as it is most days during the average winter here, I generally wear some long running tights, a long-sleeve base layer, a long-sleeve top layer, wool socks, and a beanie. Here is a rundown of the specifics in an easy to copy shopping list:

So, That takes care of things to a certain temp, but what when it is really cold and the temp drops below 5 degrees? Well, add more layers of course!

I switch up the tights and go with some pants instead. The right running pants will help keep a buffer of body-generated heat between you and the elements. Also, I throw on a jacket layer over the base and top, mainly to keep the wind from getting through. Also, a balaclava will help fully protect your head, face, and neck from the cold. So added to the above list is:

So, that covers the clothing but what about other gear? Well, there is one more thing I want to mention. I just got them and have only been out a couple of times using them so far but the seem like a winner. If you run where there are patches of rough ice and packed snow, you need these:

So, there you have it. Don’t let cold weather be an excuse for not getting in a good regular run. With the right gear not only is a doable but it can be just as fun.

Your free will donation of any amount helps to support a full-time independent writer. Thanks for reading!

My Daily Posting Workflow

It has been a week or so since I started post daily here, so I thought it would be a good time to talk about my workflow and some of the tools I’m using to get the job done. First, just because you are reading this today and it was posted today does not mean I wrote it today. In fact, I wrote this several days ago. I try to write at least 2-4 days in advance. I queue these up to post at 8am every day and keep track of what is posting when (and drag and drop to re-arrange them if needed) using a wonderful WordPress |yafzd|referrer|rfhht
plugin called Editorial Calendar. One of the ways I can try to keep commitment to post daily here is to have a few in the hopper ahead of time. That way, if something comes up on a day and I don’t have time to write I don’t have to sweat it too much.
I’m mostly writing each post using PlainText for iOS and most are written on my iPad mini. That said, It is not unusual for me to write them on my iPhone or Mac (using Byword there) if that is where I happen to be when the muse strikes. That said, before the iPad mini (which is really great by the way), I wrote most sub–1000 word pieces on my iPhone. The difference is likely due to the novelty and newness of the iPad mini and, therefore, is likely to change back to being mostly iPhone at some point. The bottom line: If I happen to have an idea and the time to flesh out the first draft, I do it with whatever tool is most available.
But, when I don’t have the time, I capture it by any means necessary. Most of the time that is using pen and paper. Lately, having a Field Notes notebook in my back pocket has been the place of choice. That said, a 3×5 card or the iPhone are occasional stand-ins. What matters is that any idea that even smells like something to write about gets captured somewhere. All ideas matter.
Once captured, the goal is to get it to first draft state as soon as time allows and refine from there. Once a post is ready to go, how it gets into the queue largely depends on where I’m at and what additional tools might be needed. I’ve been using the official WordPress app on the iPad mini and it works well enough in a pinch. On my Mac, I log in to the WordPress Dashboard and use that. If the post has significant Markdown formatting and I’m posting into WordPress from my iPad, I copy and paste from PlainText to Drafts for iOS and use the tools there to copy to clipboard as HTML. Then, I paste that into the WordPress app. Works for me.
Now, I’m sure I’ll get more questions about the details not covered here or why I don’t do certain things (because this is working for me so far) or have I thought of something-or-other (the answer is likely “yes”). That said, as always, I do invite your feedback and commentary via email or on App.net if you have one.

Book Review: Atlas of Remote Islands

atlas-remote-islands

It is high time for cartography to take its place among the arts, and for the atlas to be recognized as literature, for it is more than worthy of its original aim: theatrum orbis terrarum, the theatre of the world. — Judith Schalansky

With this declaration in the preface of the book, the author then proceeds to create such a perfect final argument for her case. If there ever was or is to be map making as art and atlas as literature, this is it.
Atlas of Remote Islands is a stunning achievement. It is a book for lovers of geography, students of history, and dreamers of far-away places. But is is also an intelligent and compellingly written series of essays about each of the fifty remote islands presented. Instead of bland truths and interesting anecdotes one might find in a proper scholarly work, the author takes both factual details and myths and interweaves them into compelling narratives. She whisks you away to a time and a place that is literally in the middle of nowhere. She spins yarns of triumph and heartbreak. She addresses the practical and the fanciful with equal regard in doing so. Unlike any other Atlas you may have encountered, this is a work to be both studied and read.
The preface tells of the author’s life long love of maps and dreams of travel. She was born in East Germany, not long before the fall of the Berlin Wall and the subsequent reunification. Therefore, her perspective of going from dreams of travel that, under Soviet rule, would remain thus to suddenly having the dreams made possibility simply because someone had decided to change the lines on a map is very compelling. Thus her approach to maps is one where lines and borders are imaginary and impractical as any tale one might conjure. She understands that things such as history, maps, and borders are at the will of those that claim them.
This makes all the more sense when she says, “That’s why the question of whether these stores are ‘true’ is misleading. All the text in the book is based on extensive research and every detail stems from factual sources. I have not invented anything. However I was the discoverer of the sources, researching them through ancient and rare books and I have transformed the texts and appropriated them as sailors appropriate the lands they discover.”
This book is a wonder and a true gem. I highly recommend you appropriate it as a treasure for your collection.
Buy It: Atlas of Remote Islands by Judith Schalansky