Your Path is Your Path

Beatrix,

There are a lot of adults right now, especially those closest to you, telling you their stories about their path. How they did in high school, where they went to college (or didn’t), how they ended up doing what they do. What their major was and how it doesn’t even resemble what they actually do now (as it is for most college graduates).

I know this confuses, frustrates, and bores you to tears. I know both your Mom and (especially) I are the worst offenders of this.

I’m sorry. We can’t help ourselves.

You can mostly ignore all the details and tune out the stories. They won’t help you. That was our path. That was what worked for us. Where we are is a result of our choices (life is built by choices) to say yes or no to the opportunities placed before us. But those choices and opportunities were ours alone and unique to us. You will get your own.

But, don’t ignore the “why” behind we adults telling you this stuff. Some of it over and over again (because we’re old and repeat ourselves — likely a symptom of early onset dementia).

The “why” is this: There are many possible paths. Our path was our path paved with our opportunities and our choices. Your path is and always will be your path paved by your choices.

And, inside of all of these stories from all of these people are examples of how one small simple seemingly inconsequential choice or random chance encounter changed the trajectory of our entire lives.

When a friend asked me for a favor to help out a lady with her computer and I said yes and despite having a very bad case of the flu I showed up anyway and did the work and now, here you are on the edge of senior year the daughter of those two people brought together by a hard drive failure and a simple favor.

The point being that every “yes” matters and every “no” matters and that your path will be yours alone and your choices pave it and gosh you are already sick of reading this and “Dad, I get it already! Shut up!” but I only have about a year to tell you all of this and it does not seem like nearly enough time and your path is moving SO quickly now and seems out of control and I’m your parent damn-it I should be making sure you get all of the best things and go to the college you want and make sure your life is everything you want it to be but the world is changing and you are changing and it’s all out of control and happening so fast and…

I can’t. Your path is your path. Your choices guide you and only you.

You are too old for my shit or your Mom’s shit or anyone else’s shit. Time for us to shut up and let you do your own shit.