An Effective Team

“We are a very effective team!”

This is something Bethany and I say to each other at times when we are operating at our best. It’s a line I stole from the rather unfortunate and predictable Tom Cruise/Morgan Freeman vehicle, Oblivion.

It’s true. This comes for the fact that we both know our strengths and are honest about our weaknesses. We respect those in ourselves and each other. We know where those complement and contradict. We know how to wield such knowledge to the maximum benefit. When Bethany and I work toward a common goal, focus, and vision, we are a force.

But, it’s also true in everyday life as well. In general, we work very well together at dividing up and cooperating on the tasks of our complicated and busy lives. When people talk to us and discover how many different things we are juggling at any given moment and wonder how we manage to do it all, it’s because we work very well together.

We’re an effective team.

A little girl was in a drawing lesson. [The teacher] said, “What are you drawing?” And the girl said, “I’m drawing a picture of God.” And the teacher said, “But nobody knows what God looks like.” And the girl said, “They will in a minute.”

— Sir Ken Robinson

The Best Choice I Make

Bethany and I don’t need each other. The truth is, we were doing pretty well on our own before. When we met, she was in the process of getting a divorce. I had gone through a divorce several years earlier and had primary custody of my two sons. We both had houses. We both had lives. We were both relatively financially stable. We both were at tail ends of relationships. Neither of us were looking to get into a new one anytime soon.

The truth is that, even today, Bethany and I would be just fine on our own. But, we choose to be together. We make that choice because we know that even if we would be fine on our own we are at our best together.

Being together is a choice we make, daily. Every moment. Before every embrace. After every argument. In the smooth and the rough, we choose. We choose to work for it. We choose to fight for it. We choose to love.

We choose to be at our best. And that choice, means being together.

It’s the best choice I make every day.

Bethany Behind the Scenes

Let’s say, for instance, you are a friend of Bethany’s. And, let’s just say, for example, you casually mention that you are looking to buy a new house. Like, as just part of an in-passing, what’s-going-on, sort of way.

What you don’t know is that you’ve just sent Bethany off on a house search for you. A few minutes here. A quick browse there. As she’s scrolling through people she follows or groups she’s in on Facebook, anytime she sees a house for sale she’s actively investigating if it’s the right house for you. We have more friends than we can count who have been helped by this. Either by leading them to a new home or leading to a place to land while a new home is being found.

Now, let’s say, for instance, you mention you are looking for a job. And, let’s just say, for example, you casually mention this to Bethany. Once again, without expectation. Just an aside.

What you don’t see is that Bethany’s head gears are now turning through a catalog of possibilities, openings, connections, and clients to see if there’s something that might be a good fit. Or even a good direction to turn or lead to follow. This happened as recently as a few days ago. A friend mentioned that she was looking for a change in career and it turned out that Bethany knew of an opening for that exact job.

Are you sick or going through a rough time? Bethany is thinking of how to bring you a meal or cheer you up. Are you having problems in your relationship? Bethany is trying to find a way in her (very little) free time how to take you out for a drink to vent. If you have any problem at all, Bethany is thinking of a solution.

Now, she doesn’t have all the answers. She is not a real estate agent. She’s not an employment counsellor. She’s not a therapist and, frankly, if you get a meal when you are sick I mostly likely cooked it. But, the point is that she does her damnedest to try to solve any problem that passes her way.

The thing is, she does this all on her own free time. She doesn’t have a lot of free time. By not a lot, I mean next to none. Yet, it doesn’t matter. She can’t help it. It’s who she is and one of the many reasons why I love her and the world, especially her world, is so lucky to have her.